Logan Reunion May, 2008
What a special time in Logan! None of us expected the turnout we got. Rekindling family friendships, revisiting family stories, catching up on family news, catching the latest Indiana Jones movie (well, at least Uncle Fred, cousin Fred, Stephanie and I did)! You'll find pictures in the private Extended Family album, and a PDF document in the News & Stories section reviewing some of the stories I took notes on. Fred, Stephanie, Terry, shall we try and organize a bigger one soon? :-)
Children's Book About Thea Now Available for Review & Purchase 5/26/08
The children's book I wrote for Thea about her birth and adoption, and which I had illustrated by the gifted Samantha Busfield, is now available from Blurb.com: http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/250750/. If you have a young adopted child, or know someone who does, it was designed to provide a means of helping adopted kids understand and feel proud about their being adopted. When you get to the page for the book, you can click on "Review" to see the first 15 pages in low-resolution PDF.
Thea's First Dance! 5/9/08
It was like a prom - only it was primarily daddies and daughters. I bought her a beautiful wrist corsage, and Sharlotte got her a beautiful new dress, and had her hair cut and braided into French braids. We took pictures before leaving (which are in the family album), and off we went. In the you-know-you're-living-in-a-small-town department, it was our chief of police who served as an excellent DJ for the evening. Thea danced with her friends and plenty with me, fast dances and slow. The last dance she wanted me to pick her up. I accommodated her, and we danced as she rested her head on my shoulder, knowing we had enjoyed a special night, a first; and we had made a lasting memory.
Introducing Jackson Prince Arnold! 4/9/08
Born April 9, 2008 to Dorothea and Mark Arnold. Weighed in at 8 lbs., 15 oz. Picture in family album. Mazel tov Dorothea, Mark and Jackson!
Notes on Mom's Passing
The date and time of Mom's passing were Saturday, January 19 at 8 PM. She was asleep, and she simply passed on. The final cause of death was renal failure. During that final quiet time, a week or so leading up to her death, her trachea tube did not need suctioning once, her breathing was far steadier and easier than it had been since the pneumonia had stricken her about 4 months ago. She mostly slept peacefully. With so much less being demanded of it, her body eased her to her passing.
The night the phone call came Thea and I were visiting Skip's house. The occasion was my belated birthday celebration. We had a great time. By the time the call came, we were already preparing to leave. I see it as more fitting than ironic that on the day on which I was celebrating my birthday with family, the woman who gave birth to me passed away. Connected to the end.
I chose not to tell Thea so late at night after such a nice time and just before bedtime. The next morning, after several calls with extended family members, I brought Thea into my office. It was just the two of us. I told her I was sad because Grammy died. After crying for a long moment, she said, "I hate it when people go to heaven!"
To my surprise, she asked me for particulars of when Grammy passed. I told her, and added that Grammy was asleep and simply, peacefully passed on from that state. I said something like, "How wonderful for Grammy that she could pass on so peacefully, just as she wanted."
Thea said, "It's not wonderful for me."
***
I arrived in Huntington on the evening of Tuesday the 22d, Tu B'Shvat. I arrived a day ahead of everyone else. I needed the alone time, the time to reflect. The following morning I went to Klingel-Carpenter Mortuary to settle up the bill - and to see Mom one last time.
Rick and Stella had sent with Mom a really nice outfit and some of her costume jewelry. I hadn't seen her dressed and made up so elegantly in probably 4 or 5 years. I think the last time was in the Windermere Health South Nursing Home when she allowed herself to eat in public one last time before settling into her final, bed-centric decline. Her face was drawn back like a tight ponytail, and I was taken aback at that initially. But she looked peaceful, and she looked good.
As I stood over her, what came to me to say to her was something like, "Mom, you were always in my corner, all of your sons' corners. Everything about me, about us, was okay with you. Your love was unceasing and all-encompassing. You gave me a kind of love, and a way of loving, that I give my children. Your love lives on within me and through me to my children."
***
Later that day, I visited the Cabell County Library and found Huntington phone books from the 50s and 60s. I checked the book for the year of Rick's birth, 1954. I found the addresses for Mommie Rae's first house, her store, the Milady Shop (which was across the street and a couple of doors down from the library), Uncle Jack and Aunt Ida's home, and Uncle Jack's store - second store I believe, Jack's Liquidating Store.
First I walked into the Milady Shop; well, now it's Spirits on the Plaza, and the multi-store building of which it's a part is called the Reger Building. I bought a Diet Coke there. As I was checking out, I said to the young man cashing me out something like, "This used to be my grandmother's store many years ago."
He grunted, "Huh."
"It looked a little different back then," I added.
He re-grunted.
***
Next I made a pilgrimage to Mommie Rae's first house on Edison Drive on the other side of town near the Spring Hill Cemetery where Mom would be laid to rest the following day. Half the house looked something like what I remembered, the brick half. I hadn't pictured the white wood attached garage. The trees that had once graced the front and side yards had now long since vanished in favor of more yard. A large Christian cross over the garage and nearby Christmas decorations spoke of yet further differences.
I rang the doorbell. Only a dog was home, a dog not exactly happy to hear a doorbell. Before departing, I noted the name of the family currently living there: Goodsons. I was in a mood for symbolism and synchronicity. I liked it. Good sons.
My mood for symbolism and synchronicity was tapped again as I was driving away from Edison Drive and noticed, as I had not when first turning onto the street, that the pizza place across the street from the end of Edison where I had entered was the same pizza place I had called the night before for a delivery to my hotel room on the other side of town. Had there not been a broken water main in downtown Huntington where my Holiday Inn was, I would have never called that pizza place.
***
It was bitter cold yesterday at Spring Hill Cemetery during Mom's funeral. But it was beautiful. A light flurry brought a softness and a whiteness to the grounds and the surroundings that transformed what would have otherwise been a stark, gray, hard-edged day.
Rabbi Wucher presided over the service as the ruthless winds cut through the thickest wraps. Tip and Lisa's Logan was unable to make it; and Sharlotte and Stella stayed home with the little ones. The rest of Mom's sons and their families were there, joined by Uncle Eddie and Peter, and a few members of the B'Nai Sholom congregation, some of whom had known Mommie Rae and/or Uncle Jack.
When it came time for open commentaries, Skip started us off. He told a story about a recent conversation he'd had with Uncle Fred in which Uncle Fred had talked about how Mom, when she was a young woman, represented his standard of beauty against which other women he met were measured.
I spoke next, conveying what it was I had said to Mom when I had seen her in the mortuary, as described above. I added to the part about Mom's all-encompassing love something about how I remembered seeing in Mom's face, and feeling inside myself, the complete delight whenever I or any of my brothers returned home from college or visited after we graduated.
I was followed in short order by Rick, who spoke about how that delight in Mom was there to be seen upon visits from her kids and grandkids even in these past 6 years after her stroke stole from her her ability to express it in words.
Lisa talked about what a great mother-in-law she was, and Julia concurred, saying after meeting Mom, she wondered what was the story with all the mother-in-law jokes. Uncle Eddie mentioned he had known Mom for 65 years, and that in all that time, he had always appreciated what a warm, wonderful woman she was, and how she had raised four good sons she could be proud of.
Tip spoke last, and, as he said, on Mom's behalf - which I so appreciate. He expressed a deep gratitude for the remarkable job Rick did in taking care of Mom these past 6 years with such dedication and love.
After the Kaddish, as Rabbi Wucher conveyed heartfelt wishes for Mom's final journey, her casket swayed gently in the buffeting wind. A few snow flurries followed the curve of her polished wooden casket and drifted like feathers into the open ground. In the distance, a train's whistle blew what I chose to hear as a lullaby. And Mom parted this world perhaps the same way she came in: surrounded by loved ones and rocking gently to a soothing melody.
I miss her beyond words.
***
Mom's obituary (slightly edited from the newspaper version):
Lillian Jaffe Eiland, 86, of Orlando, FL, formerly of Huntington, WVA, died Saturday, January 19, 2008 in Orlando. She was born March 26, 1921 in Huntington, a daughter by birth of Sandor Lagun and Rae Marguerite Cuttler Jaffee. She was a member of the B'Nai Sholom Congregation in Huntington, and very active with the Surfside Players in Cocoa Beach, FL, having served as president and acted in a number of productions. She was preceded in death by her husband, Theodore Anthony "Ted" Eiland, with whom she owned and ran WKKO radio station in Cocoa, FL, and her father Isidore Jaffe of Huntington. She is survived by her four sons, Howard A. Eiland, Stuart A. Eiland, Robert A. Eiland and Richard A. Eiland; and 10 grandchildren. Graveside services will be held at 1 PM Thursday, January 24, 2008 at the B'Nai Israel Section of Spring Hill Cemetery, Huntington, by Rabbi David Wucher. There will be no visitation. Klingel-Carpenter Mortuary, Huntington, is in charge of arrangements. Expressions of sympathy may be made to B'Nai Sholom Congregation, P. O. Box 2674, Huntington, WV 25726. You can sign the Family Guestbook at http://www.klingelcarpenter.com/.
Thea Makes Big-Stage Theatrical Debut 12/27/07
Thea made her theatrical debut in Sudbury with a program called Broadway Babies. The group of about 15 5-6 year old girls had 5 Broadway songs to perform, and each girl had a solo. For Thea, it was the first time she performed both lyrics and choreography - and the choreography was a significant challenge! (Dad knows because he memorized it too in order to be of help practicing at home.)
Thea's solo came with the song I Enjoy Being a Girl from Flower Drum Song, and she did a great job performing it by herself at the microphone in front of an audience of a couple of hundred people. It seems I was the only one who was nervous about it in advance.
Shortly after Babies closed, she and her buddy Dylan both performed in an original version of a play called White Christmas in Westford. The two did a great job with their song, A Holly Jolly Christmas. Thea's already signed up for the next Broadway Babies this coming January. Can't wait to see the new numbers. Maybe this time we'll see the little girls perform something more along the lines of Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better! :-)
Mazel Tov and All Our Best Wishes to Doe and Mark on the Occasion of Their Marriage! 12/20/07
Pictures are in Extended Eiland Family album
To Kill a Mockingbird, Sets New Record for Arlington Friends of the Drama 10/25/07
To Kill a Mockingbird, played to virtually sold out houses every performance - about a dozen tickets went unsold over the run - and set a new record for AFD Theatre in audience attendance for a non-musical. Our deserving cast received a partial or full standing ovation each show, and word spread fast through the course of the run.
For all of us within the production, perhaps best of all was the bond we all felt throughout the rehearsal and performance process. Dang, I miss y'all!
Breaching my normal humility, I found out during the run, much to my surprise, that the next two shows in line in the record books were also ones I had directed: The Miracle Worker and Night of the Iguana. Of course, having name shows with those reputations, and the gifted casts in all instances, certainly didn't hurt!
To Kill a Mockingbird in Arlington, Opening 10/12, Echoes of the Scottsboro Boys 10/08/07
To Kill a Mockingbird, which I have directed, and Susan Harrington has produced, opens this Friday, 10/12 at 8 PM. The rest of the performance schedule is: Saturday, 10/13 at 8 (sold out!), Sunday, 10/14 at 2 (tickets sold for this show in Arlington Public Library), Friday 10/19 at 8, Saturday, 10/20 at 2 and 8, and Sunday 10/20 at 4. You can order tickets online at http://www.afdtheatre.org/. There is more information about our production there as well.
To follow are my Director's Notes for the program, and a cast list. Hope to see you there!
Mockingbird and Echoes of the Scottsboro Boys
On March 25, 1931 at the train station in Paint Rock, Alabama, an armed posse of 50 white men surrounded 9 young black men. They had just disembarked from the train on which they had been hoboing after an unsuccessful attempt to find work in Tennessee. Just over the Alabama border, a young white man had stepped on the hand of Haywood Patterson, a young black man, sparking a stone-throwing fight. Most of the young white men were forced off the slowly moving train, though Haywood had personally saved one when the train started to speed up.
Twenty minutes after Patterson and his cohorts were arrested, the posse chased down two white girls, Victoria Price and Ruby Bates. They had been traveling with their boyfriends. They knew about the Mann Act, which criminalized crossing state lines for sex. When a station agent asked them if the Negroes had bothered them, they claimed they had been raped.
The nine young black men were tied together with a plow line and carted off to jail in nearby Scottsboro. That evening, several hundred mostly poor white farmers gathered outside the jail to take justice into their own hands. The National Guard staved off the lynching of the Scottsboro Boys.
The Scottsboro Boys' first trial commenced twelve weeks later. Their two lawyers, one an out-of-state real estate attorney and the other a senile alcoholic, had spent less than a half hour interviewing them. Defense attorneys offered no cross-examination of the state's medical evidence and presented no closing argument. Eight of the nine boys were sentenced to death.
A year later, the US Supreme Court ruled 7-2 that new trials would have to be granted because the defendants were denied competent representation. In 1933, when Nelle Harper Lee from Monroeville, Alabama was, at seven, close in age to Scout, a new trial for Haywood Patterson began, presided over by Judge James Horton. The American Communist Party hired famous New York attorney Samuel Liebowitz for the Scottsboro Boys' defense. Despite the testimony by former accuser Ruby Bates that her cohort had made up the whole accusation, Haywood was once again sentenced to death. Lynching mobs - for both Patterson and "the Jew lawyer from New York" - were rebuffed.
In what would be only a temporary setback for the prosecution, Judge Horton, writing that the testimony of the accuser "bears on its face indications of improbability and is contradicted by other evidence," set aside the jury's verdict. He lost his next election. But his words, inscribed on a wall of the Limestone County Courtroom Ð and echoing Atticus' closing to the jury Ð charge us to this day when it comes to judging a person on the basis of skin color, religion, origin, gender or sexual orientation:
So far as the law is concerned, it knows neither native nor alien, Jew or Gentile, black or white. This case is no different than any other. We have only to do our duty without fear or favor.
Our gifted Mockingbird cast:| Juson Pierce | Atticus Finch |
| Sydelle Pittas | Maudie Atkinson |
| Elise Hana | Scout (Jean Louise) Finch |
| Jake Gutwillig | Jem Finch |
| Peter Diamond | Dill (Charlies Baker) Harris |
| Jennifer Bubriski | Stephanie Crawford |
| Will Calley | Bob Ewell |
| Michelle Mount | Mayella Ewell |
| Cydney Newman | Calpurnia |
| Eric Daley | Tom Robinson |
| Katheryn Holland | Mrs. Dubose |
| Bob Evans | Walter Cunningham, Sr. |
| Tim Walsh | Walter Cunningham, Jr. |
| Tom Johnson | Heck Tate |
| Tom Lawrence | Horace Gilmer |
| Mark Branche | Reverend Sykes |
| David Damon | Judge Taylor |
| Mark Jefferys | Boo Radley |
| Abby Seidel | Court Clerk |
| Phillip Koenig | Nathan Radley |
Charlie's First Steps and Words! And Other Family News. 07/27/07
It was three weeks ago from this writing. Thea and Bob saw him do it: three tiny, tenuous steps in a row, before plopping down with a huge proud smile, and a cheer and applause from us. In this developmental explosion, he has also now spoken up to about 10 words. His first word was "Ea" for "Thea," which thrills us all to no end. He has since added "Mommy," "baby," "hi," "byebye," and "Da-yee" for "Daddy," among others.
Just before the July 4 holiday, Thea and I took a vacation up to North Conway, NH in the White Mountains, just the two of us. (Pictures in the Recent Eiland Family album.) We had a fantastic time visiting Story Land on two separate days, taking the antique Washington Valley cog railway train through the valley, ordering pizza in at the hotel room and watching the Red Sox win, taking a short hike, hanging around the town for part of one afternoon....
We also listened to music all the way up and back (on high volume since it was just the two of us!) on my new iPod. I had created on it a Children's Playlist with select songs from Broadway musicals, Disney movies, doo wop, a capella, reggae, along side certain Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, Taj Mahal and James Taylor tunes, to name a few. We hope to take another adventure away for a couple of days before summer's end!
Mazel Tov, and all our love and best wishes to Rudi and Lee on the occasion of their marriage!
Pictures in Extended Eiland Family album.
Star Bright accepted for publication 07/21/07
After a successful staged reading at the Harvard Public Library last fall, and a subsequent revision, courtesy all the great feedback received from cast members and audience, Star Bright, very loosely inspired by Thea's birth and adoption, was accepted for publication by JAC Publishing and Promotions, the publisher of my first two plays, Philosophical Differences and Super Cooper. Stay tuned for availability: http://www.jacneed.com/
Nephew Logan Eiland to Attend Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU)! 07/21/07
Big congratulations to Logan! We also got to see Logan and three of his friends for part of an afternoon and evening as they crashed here on their way to Acadia. It was great! Thea wanted "to camp out with the boys in the basement." Logan, any pictures?
Bob to Direct To Kill a Mockingbird at Arlington Friends of the Drama in October 02/14/07
The stage version of the popular Pulitzer Prize winning novel affords an exciting opportunity: to apply the theme of journeying from innocence to bittersweet sophistication by means of "walking in someone else's shoes," as Atticus Finch would put it, to the process of mounting the production. As a cast and crew, not only will we strive to fulfill our primary mission of presenting moving performances in production with high technical values, but we will also immerse ourselves in the Harper Lee's Alabama of 1935. 1931 marked the beginning of the trial of the 9 African American Scottsboro Boys who were falsely accused of gang raping two white women, one of whom completely recanted her story and implicated the other one. And the South remained locked in the unforgiving grip of the Great Depression. My current plan is to look at partnerships with an African American organization, and possibly with a middle school class interested in studying the work, to enrich our experience (as well as help with casting!)
Goings On Around Our Place 02/07/07
A week ago Thea snapped her little rented ski boots into a pair of Rossignol children's x-c skis in Stowe, VT. It was the first time in her life on skis. Before we left the room, she had said, "Don't worry, I've seen lots of skiers on television and I know how to ski." Sure enough, after 10 minutes or so of "lessons" from Daddy on the ski shop carpet, she managed to ski up the initial hill of the Trapp Family Lodge course without falling once. Of course, it took a little longer than I would have anticipated. She hailed every passer by and said, "Hi! I'm skiing for the first time! I'm 4!" We must have engaged in three lengthy conversations before traveling 30 yards. Towards the end of our ski, I set aside both our ski poles, skied behind her, put my arms under her shoulders and cruised down that hill in one long swoop. She shouted "Wheee!" the whole way down.
After I left that day to return to work, Sharlotte was joined by friends Charlotte and Virge with, collectively, their three kids. Since Charlotte is a top-ranked skier around these parts and a former ski instructor, I assume Thea, Dylan and Helena received far better training over the course of the rest of the week in her skilled hands!
We also put Charlie in the backpack and took him out snowshoeing for his first time. He was happy as long as I kept moving. Eventually he responded to the gentle jostling and regular shushing of the snowshoes by relaxing into a cozy sleep. Pictures of our stay at Trapp Family Lodge are posted on the private family album.
Star Bright Staged Reading a Success 11/29/06
The staged reading of Star Bright went very well. Mary Wilson of the Harvard Public Library, to whom I am so grateful for her openness to, and belief in, the project, wants to do a continuing Write With the Playwright series. (Playwrights out there, send your unproduced, unpublished scripts to bob at egselite dot com!) We had a really robust discussion among the audience, the cast and myself; and people seemed very engaged.
I got a lot out of it for the next draft, which has now been completed, and will be submitted for publishing in the not-too-distant future. Only one small component of the reading's success was the script; the cast was brilliant!
To read an interview I did with Ellie Vinacco from CNC's Harvard Post the following week, click on this link: http://www2.townonline.com/harvard/artsLifestyle/view.bg?articleid=618492
Public Reading of Bob's New Play, Star Bright Coming in November 9/12/06
Press Release:
How would you like to watch a new play being read by a gifted cast, and offer feedback to help the playwright write the next draft at the same time?
The Harvard Public Library will give you just such an opportunity on November 3 and 4 at 7 PM in the Hapgood Room with its first Write With the Playwright event. The work is Star Bright, a new, adoption-themed play under development by Harvard playwright Bob Eiland., whose two previous plays, Philosophical Differences and Super Cooper, are published by JAC Publishing and Promotions (http://www.jacneed.com). One act will be presented each evening, followed by audience questions and critique. The public is welcome to attend either evening or both. Admission is free.
Set in the birth clinic of a small Southern hospital, the ceiling of which is a magical starlit sky, Star Bright is a "dramedy" centering around the attempt of a married couple to adopt a baby from a young birth mother, whose adoption decision is not looked kindly upon by all members of her family. We follow this story in parallel with that of another pregnant woman in the same hospital. And popping in and out of the action is a mysterious little girl who seems to know more than she should about nuclear fusion, and who can only be seen by three of the other characters.
The questions and discussion periods will be facilitated by dramaturg Pam Hill, former Education Director of the Huntington Theatre Company, and currently a professor of English, Education and Drama at Fitchburg State College. Pam is a member of the cast as well.
Andrea Southwick of Acton, former Education Director of the New Repertory Theatre, who has trained professional and amateur actors for years at Southwick Studio and Emerson College, is serving as rehearsal consultant for the production.
Our gifted cast:| Ellie Behrstock | Dehlia Chance |
| David Behrstock | Russell Chance |
| Martha Brooks | Nurse Lydia Touchè |
| Janet Dauray | Myrna Wily |
| Olivia Enriquez | Nadia |
| Jack Fellows | Doolie Thomas |
| Larry Hill | Narrator |
| Pam Hill | Jamie Lyn Day |
| Michael McGarty | Elliot Steingard |
| Lily Narbonne | Holly Wily |
Super Cooper Published 9/5/06
My second published play, Super Cooper, a warm comedy about families and social consciousness that brings to the stage a critical transition in the life of schlumpy, small-town boy-man Cal Cooper (Is he really Superman?!), is now available for purchase at JAC Publishing and Promotions (http://www.jacneed.com/ ). If you're thinking about producing something cool and different for your theater group, or just interested in an entertaining read, give it a try.
Liza Sara FuBin - BinBin - Is Home from China! 9/1/06
Max and Mia's little sister, Liza Sara, or BinBin, has made the long trek to her new home with her mama and daddy, Jill and Seth. A new blessing for an already blessed family. A huge, heartfelt "Mazel tov" to them all!
While in Hong Kong and China, Seth and Jill kept a detailed, and often quite moving account of their journey, which of course, was not just a journey of miles. If you're interested in reading it - and I highly recommend it! - email me and I will forward your request to them; as it is a password-protected online journal.
We send our very best wishes to them all, and look forward to hearing new family tales.
Liza Sara FuBin One Step Closer from China to Cousins Seth, Jill, Max and Mia! 6/30/06
Jill reports, "She is in foster care! We are told she is a deep sleeper (yea!), holds her head up, rolls from back to stomach, laughs out loud, likes music and has a ready smile. We should be traveling in 5 to 8 weeks. We are so excited and can't wait to bring her home!"
Her name: Lou (Surname) Fu (Blessing) Bin (Having both appearance and substance)
Exciting times, full of anticipation! We look forward to hearing the progress reports!
Charlie's Naming Ceremony 6/25/06
Whenever we toast "L'chaim!", we'll be toasting Charlie as well. Chaim is his Hebrew name. Rosalie, a cantor from a nearby temple with a captivating voice and warm presence, officiated as we all blessed Charlie's introduction to his community of extended family and friends in song, verse and prayer. Here is the text of the ceremony, not including the numerous live improvisations.
ROSALIE, CANTOR (officiating the ceremony)
Welcome on behalf of Charlie, Thea, Sharlotte, Bob and myself.
This is a Naming Ceremony, as well as a Welcome Ceremony for Charlie; and a time to share Sharlotte's, Bob's and Thea's joy. It is also a time for us all to offer our hopes and blessings for Charlie.(Whatever else by way of introduction.)
BOB
As family and friends we love and rely on, you are all here as the first members of a personal community for Charlie. We also want to take a moment on this very special family occasion to remember our family members who have passed away: Sharlotte's dad Charlie, after whom Charlie is named, and her mom Joanne, my dad Ted. It is sad they can't be with us. I also want to send our love to my mom, Lillian, in Orlando, who can't be with us today either.
A poem for a baby by Algernon Charles Swinburne:
A baby's hands, like rosebuds furledWhence yet no leaf expands,
Ope if you touch, though close upcurled,
A baby's hands.
Then, fast as warriors grip their brands
When battle's bolt is hurled,
They close, clenched hard like tightening bands.
No rosebuds yet by dawn impearled
Match, even in loveliest lands,
The sweetest flowers in all the world-
A baby's hands.
A baby's eyes, ere speech begin,
Ere lips learn words or sighs,
Bless all things bright enough to win
A baby's eyes.
Love, while the sweet thing laughs and lies,
And sleep flows out and in,
Sees perfect in them Paradise.
Their glance might cast out pain and sin,
Their speech make dumb the wise,
By mute glad godhead felt within
A baby's eyes.
Charlie's Hebrew name is Chaim. It means "life," and now, every time we toast with "L'chaim!", we'll be toasting to Charlie too!
ROSALIE
[Rosalie's rap on the Hebrew name, whatever else you have planned, a song or two, etc.]
SHARLOTTE
Jill, Charlie's godmother, will now read an excerpt from a poem by Theodore Roethke called "To My Sister".
JILL
Thea, imagine Charlie is reading this to you, his big sister.
To My Sister
O my sister, remember the stars, the tears, the trains,The woods in spring, the leaves, the scented lanes.
Recall the gradual dark, the snow's unmeasured fall,
The naked fields, the cloud's immaculate folds.
Recount each childhood pleasure: the skies of azure,
The pageantry of wings, the eye's bright treasure.
Keep faith with present joys.
BOB
As we've said, Charles Luis is named for Sharlotte's dad, Charles Lewis; and it means "life," or "alive," which I also take to mean "lively, vital". Charlie, your mom's, sister's and my love for you is beyond what we can put into words. And so we talk about how incredibly blessed we are, what a gift you are. We look so forward to learning continually about you, teaching you, sharing with and supporting you, helping you see your dreams and reach for them; and seeing how many ways you surprise us, challenge us and inspire us.
ROASLIE
[Explains to the group what they should do, i.e. read from below after each repeated "May you know."]
May you know [before each phrase]:
GROUP
[After each "May you know."]
the continued love and bond of familythe love and support of intimate friends
the joy of cultivating your own loving partnership
the magic of losing yourself in play and fascination with something
the confidence and discipline to reach for your dreams
the pride in finding purpose and realizing your aspirations
the humility and strength to work through and learn from your shortcomings
the fulfillment of giving to others
the beauty in the reflection of a star on the surface of a clear mountain lake
the contentment of community
the satisfaction of taking care of your parents in their old age!
SHARLOTTE
A poem from an anonymous source:
Precious one,So small,
So sweet,
Dancing in on angel feet.
Straight from Heaven's brightest star:
What a miracle you are!
BOB
"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Here is a remembrance in poetry about Charlie Driskell, Charlie's namesake and grandfather.
The Charlie I Knew
A walk-right-in ease that welcomed you effortlessly likeopening the door to
the aroma of homemade soup on the stove; for he had boiled
off any pretension or pettiness to serve
up what's gracious about good people: a quiet
knowing of what's in your heart and the sorrow
in his; a loving pride from his soul for
his family, yes, a distinct love for each different
one; an unswerving fix on your better sides with
an abiding acceptance of your
frailties; an ear and a hand for your troubles, and a
touchstone
for your hopes.
To look for real into Charlie's eyes, to love
and be loved by him, was to know
God's grace.
May his name be an inspiration to you Charlie. And may that inspiration take the form of your finding in your heart, mind and soul your passions and aspirations, your unique song, and honor them in your life.
ROSALIE
Please feel free to sing along if you know the tune. The lyrics are on the last page of your handout.
[Sing a slightly adapted version of "Sabbath Prayer" from "Fiddler on the Roof".] May the Lord protect and defend you.May He always shield you from shame.
May you come to be
In paradise a shining name.
May you be like Ruth and like Esther.
May you be deserving of praise.
Strengthen them, Oh Lord,
And keep them from the strangers' ways.
May God bless you and grant you long lives.
(May the Lord fulfill our Sabbath prayer for you.)
May God make you good husbands and wives.
(May He send you partners who will care for you.)
May the Lord protect and defend you.
May the Lord preserve you from pain.
Favor them, Oh Lord, with happiness and peace.
Oh, hear our family's prayer. Amen.
[Thank you and close out as you deem fit.]
BOB, SHARLOTTE AND THEA
[Presents Charlies Luis Eiland to our family and friends in attendance.]
Charlie's Home from Guatemala 5/19/06
We're back. Back from Guatemala. Back to home/family-centric life. On to new family and household rhythms....
Our journey to Guatemala to meet, welcome and gather in Charlie was fulfilling, at times magical, occasionally challenging - although not as challenging as I had feared it would be. No security issues. No apparent transitional pain for Charlie - nor for Thea. New big sister handled the travel pains with nary a complaint. We're talking about 16 hours from getting up at 2:30 a.m. in MA, through having to deplane and catch a new plane in Houston, to arriving in Guatemala City and having instantly to meet Charlie. And we're talking arrival back home at 2 a.m. after 12 hours of traveling with a luggage load too embarrassing to detail.
Charlie is a sweetheart: engaging, smiley, a tad flirtatious, mostly serene - except just before bedtime! Thea is impressively, poignantly loving, helpful, concerned - well, downright big-sisterly. But happily, still plenty little-kid-like too.
The people associated with our adoption agency - Colleen, Traci, Katy, Aida, Mary Elena, our drivers Victor and Raphael; and most of all, Bilma, Charlie's foster mother - were phenomenal. They took personally our well-being, and the efficiency of the process, to the extent they could effect it. Thea made fast friends with Teresa (see photo album) at the Weston Camino Real, and they took off running towards each other, arms wide open, each time they saw each other. Antigua, where we spent the weekend, was where we found the magic of the land - and the history, the warmth - not to mention the marketplaces!
Now home, Charlie is handling unexpectedly well a case of the chicken pox. Thea is handling with the expected disappointment our instructions not to handle, kiss or hug him. But Charlie is still content and playful, and Thea is okay with patting Charlie's sock-covered feet and blowing him kisses. Charlie has taken to his floor gym and bouncy seat. He's feeding well. And get this: in a crib in the nursery we have decorated just for him, he is sleeping through the night each night so far!
One journey has ended. Another has begun. We have left Guatemala, we four who were three. We have taken Guatemala with us.
Off to Guatemala for Baby Charlie! 5/5/06
We made it through Guatemala's PGN (Procuradoria General del Nacion) on 4/26. The next day, Charlie's birth mother signed off on the adoption, making us Charlie's legal parents. We are Mama, Daddy and sister to this little boy whom we have yet to meet! Surreal.
We have been consoling ourselves with monthly pictures and positive medical updates, but by this time next week, Charlie will be in our arms. Okay, probably crying in our arms from missing his foster parents. Somehow, I think Thea will be a big comfort to him.
Behind us now are the home study and autobiographies, the financial statements, medical affidavits, criminal background checks and witness statements; and all the redo's from signatures unclear by one letter, and notary stamps too light to read with certainty....
One dives so deeply into this all-consuming process that it's easy to get lost in it, to not visualize the endpoint, the real, warm aliveness of this baby boy, our new son....
In the few days ahead, before we travel, we are information gathering, baby-paraphernalia gathering - not to mention gathering ourselves. Before we know it, those pictures in the family album on this website will be of a family of four; Thea won't be just "Baby Girl," but also "Big Sister".
Our family of three: we shall miss it. Our family of four: we shall embrace it. Guate here we come!
No Longer "Baby Boy," Now It's... 3/29/06
Charles Luis Eiland. After Sharlotte's dad, Charles Lewis Driskell. We will have two children, each named after a grandfather. Decision on Sharlotte's birthday. Happy Birthday, Honey!
Liz Brown and Nick Durlacher Announce Their Engagement! 2/14/06
Our big, heart-filled congratulations to Lizzy and Nick on their engagement! We are so excited, hopeful and confident for them. Very special Valentine's Day wishes to you both. And welcome to the family, Nick!
Bob, Sharlotte and Thea adoption-matched! 1/6/06
Our Happy New Year blessing, combined with Bob's Happy Birthday gift. This evening we learned from our adoption agency in Texas we have been matched with a healthy baby boy birth-named Edgar Manuel Xocol Sohom, born on December 29, 2005 in the town of Mazatenango, Guatemala, and weighing 5 lbs., 14 oz. You can see his picture in the Photo Albums section. We received photos by email of the baby and his birth mother, for whom this is obviously a difficult time. We are excited; we are humbled.
Bob, Sharlotte and Thea almost "paper-ready" for Guatemalan Adoption, 12/9/05
We had to do many of our statements three times to get them right: notary seal not legible, not every letter in a signature legible, signature doesn't match the full name in a notary seal.... But finally it looks like we're one approved set of fingerprints away from being able to send our whole package to Guatemala for translation, acceptance and matching. We're hoping to be matched by year's end. We haven't yet decided whether or not to leave the choice of gender in Fate's inscrutable hands. Maybe Thea will soon know to expect a little brother, which is where we're leaning, or maybe not....
An update from cousin Randy Eiland's family, 12/5/05
"Carol Dee (CD) and I are doing great, although she had foot surgery last Friday to correct a break from about 18 months ago that had not healed correctly - a horse accident, of course. Unlike the last time, she decided to take time off from being a 1st grade teacher so the bone will not be compromised..she did not take her Doc's advice to take time off last time and that is probably why it didn't heal correctly. I am still a Director with the American Endurance Ride Conference and ride although not at the level of CD and the younger kids. I am still very much involved in commercial real estate which allows me both time and money to pursue the fun things in life.
"My oldest, Amber (28), has two sons - Zak will be 4 in March and River Wolfe is 16 months old. She and her husband, Robert, both work for Sam's. Amber is a Floor Supervisor and Robert is a Warehouse Supervisor. They live in El Paso a couple miles from us so we see them quite often and baby sit on demand :^) which is fun.
"Jerett (25) lives in Atlanta and is a General Manager of a Ryan's Steakhouse near Duluth, home of the "runaway bride". He is doing quite well and has been on the "fast track" with Ryans since joining their company less than a year ago.
"Cody (19) also is in Atlanta, living with Jerett, and attending college (his first semester). Like all graduating HS seniors, he wanted to go away for college and Atlanta seemed a natural since his older brother lived there and had already "been there done that" with college. Fortunately for us, he doesn't like living in Atlanta and is moving back to El Paso this month, after finals, and will attend UTEP next semester before probably transferring to New Mexico State University.
"Bailey Rose (15) is a sophomore in HS. She is very active in FFA, endurance riding, and showing. She, CD, & Cody continue to compete on a regional and national level in the sport and she is the highest mileage Junior Rider in the history of the American Endurance Ride Conference on her mare, Barbi. Bailey also shows on her other horse, Brio. She has been an exceptional student as well as a horseperson.
"My mother's side of the family had a Family Reunion in Charleston so we decided to take our summer vacation back east. Usually we travel for two weeks in the west and northwest so this was something very different, but a great opportunity to show where I grew up, etc. Also, most of my Mom's family have been to El Paso in the last few years so CD and kids knew them but they had never met the Eiland side of the family. We met Stephanie in Memphis and spent a couple of hours with her, then proceeded to Washington, DC for several days before going to Charleston. I had called Uncle Fred before the trip and we, and he, were anxious to meet. It had been 20 years since I had seen Uncle Fred so it was both exciting and rewarding for all of us. He was his charming and very active self. He looks great and one would never know his real age. We also were able to have dinner with Emily and her family as well as one of Stephanie's girls (interning in DC).
"CD & I have a niece who lives in DC so we also were able to visit with her. After 4 days in DC seeing all you could see in 4 days, we went to Logan where we spent a day and half with Uncle Eddie and Pete. That was a wonderful experience, too. Since I grew up in Logan, I was close to Uncle Eddie and it was great to see and visit with him and Pete. He still works every day (ala Poppa Rudy) but did take the day off to act as our guide around Logan. He is still active and sharp. Since Aunt Evelyn was a member of my mother's extended family, both Uncle Eddie and Pete also attended the Family Reunion in Charleston, so we had a lot of time to rehash memories, etc. The best part of the entire trip for me was that CD and the kids were able to meet and visit with my Dad's side of the family.
My Mother is doing great for 83. She is very active, plays cards with her friends twice a week - one day at her home and another day at a friend's home. She has her ailments but they have not slowed her down...she travels to Nevada once or twice a year with a friend on a gambling junket, goes to Ruidoso, NM several times a year (the Mescalero Apaches have a beautiful casino and she and friends go up there for several days. She is not a big gambler, but likes to get away and enjoy the sites, shows, etc. We try to have a Family Dinner once a month with Mom, Fred and his wife, Jennifer; Dan, Farrol, and Mason; Sam & Gayle Belford (our cousins on my Mom's side), and my family."